Partnership is a word that gets thrown around quite a bit in business. Whether it is creating a strategic partnership with a customer, having a vendor partner, or sharing ownership with someone, partnership means that you are taking the relationship to the next level. It is rooted in being aligned in your shared vision and a commitment to trust each other. People “invest” time, money, and emotion in good partnerships because they see the ability to achieve things they could not accomplish by themselves. So when a partnership is established, it is with good intentions and high hopes.
One definition of a successful relationship is where each party gives 60% and only takes 40%. As long as both parties abide by this, all is good. What happens when one partner gives 60% but the other partner only gives 40%, or worse yet, does not give and only takes? Sometimes a relationship can deteriorate to this level, yet at other times one party goes into a partnership with the great expectations of a successful end result, while the other side goes into the partnership viewing it as a means to an end. Joe Hardy, the founder of 84 Lumber, had the opinion that he wanted our relationships with our vendors to be win/win, but he wanted our Win to have a capital letter. This showed his intent that he did not view the partnership as being equal, but at least he was honest with himself and with those he was dealing with.
Other people are not quite as honest. They will enter into an agreement with lots of promises and want a lot of concessions or advantages in return. They may espouse their company values as a way to establish trust, or they may point out that they bring a large amount of business that is good for your company. When they fail to deliver on their promises, they may turn it around and blame it on some lack of performance on your part, or they may say it was temporary and dangle a new carrot to get you to buy into the partnership more. At some point, they may even consciously violate the partnership agreement and respond with, “It’s just business.” You do not have a partnership with these people. You have a transactional relationship.
There is nothing wrong with having a transactional relationship with a company or a person. The majority of business relationships are transactional. The trap is when we so want to take a relationship to the next level, but the other party hasn’t bought into the idea or merely sees it as a way to advance their agenda. We start investing heavily into the partnership with our time and money, but the other party does not or feels that by merely giving us the order or their attention, they are fulfilling their obligation to the partnership. The way to avoid these traps is to realistically evaluate all of your relationships and truly define which ones are partnerships that you want to continue to invest in, and which ones are purely transactional, which can continue on a day by day, normal business effort basis.
These same principles apply outside of customer and vendor relationships. Whether it is working with your peers or in your personal relationships, ask yourself whether the other party is committed to giving more than they are taking, or if you feel like you are the one investing all the extra effort. Long-term relationships involve long-term investment and trust. If your partner’s attitude is, “What have you done for me lately?” your partnership is in trouble and you probably need to reevaluate. A peer relationship can revert easily to a transactional one. Personal relationships are probably a different story unless you feel comfortable having the same response back to them.
